


protect me from what I want

by roguewn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bodyguard AU, Drabble, F/M, Romance, Twitter Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22534150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguewn/pseuds/roguewn
Summary: Based on my twitter prompt:https://twitter.com/roguewn/status/1224050620245643265"Actress Rey Johnson just broke up with her bf but is forced to follow her schedule&attend an award show. When her bodyguard, Ben Solo, escorts her home, she asks him to stay because she doesn't want to be alone. Little does she know that protecting her, for Ben, isn't just a job."
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 25
Kudos: 211





	protect me from what I want

He probably should have declined her request. It was late, she was sad and she was drunk, and it was never a good combination. But he saw her on the verge of tears the whole night, while all those photographers blinded her with their flashlights, trying to take the best shot of her while ignoring how miserable she truly felt inside, so when he saw her curled up in the backseat of the car, asking him to come up with her between sobs, he didn’t have the heart to say no.

He was starting to regret it now. 

She had kicked her shoes away and was now face-down on the huge couch in the living room, completely out of it. Ben had been in that house enough times to know where to find the switches. He turned the lights on and collected her shoes and her purse from the floor, putting them aside with care. He was fairly sure they were worth thousands of dollars.

Rey turned her face to the side, just enough not to suffocate in the pillow, and spoke with her eyes closed. “Ben?” Her voice was slurred. “Can you call Poe for me?”

“Uh…”

“Oh. Right.” She chuckled. “He du-uh-umped meee.” 

Despite her singing, Ben noticed the tears between her eyelashes. He didn’t know much about Poe Dameron, despite being almost always the one who had to escort him and Rey during their dates. He always kept a reasonable distance and did his best not to eavesdrop their conversations, or their non-conversations from outside some hotel rooms. What he  _ did _ know was that he didn’t like the guy – he didn’t like the way he spoke to Rey, he didn’t like the way his hands always found their way under her clothes in the backseat of the car and he didn’t like the way he looked at other women when he had Rey by his side. Ben was also fairly sure he used to call the paparazzis whenever he and Rey hung out, despite knowing how much she hated that.

In brief, he was happy Poe Dameron was out of Rey’s life. But she should have been the one to dump him, not the other way around. It was impossible for him to conceive the idea that someone would ever want to leave Rey Johnson. And not because of her celebrity status, fuck that. He had worked in the security field for more than ten years, he had his fair share of celebrity clients and he never cared about who they were. He couldn’t protect them if he were distracted by trivial stuff like that.

Rey was special because of who she was. She was clever, funny, witty, positive and, not to mention, blindingly beautiful. Ben wished to never be parted from her, he was willing to work for free if needed. Protecting Rey and being by her side had stopped being a job for him a long time ago.

“Ben.”

While he was lost in his thoughts, Rey had found the strength to pull herself up and was now sitting on the couch, her wrinkled gown leaving most of her legs exposed. She was patting on the spot beside her.

Ben sat down straight and made a point of keeping his hands on his knees. Rey chuckled again.

“You look like a samurai. Relax,” she patted his back, but the gesture somehow made it even harder for him to follow her advice.

“I’m working.”

“No, you’re not. I didn’t ask you to come up to work overtime, I would never–” she stopped to bite her lower lip. Ben found it distracting. “I mean, of course I will pay you for these extra hours, I’m sorry I dragged you into this but I– I really don’t know what I would have done if I were alone tonight.”

“I don’t need to be paid any extra, miss.”

“But you will. I won’t take no as an answer.”

“Yes, miss Johnson.”

Rey stared at him and licked her lips. “Say it again.”

“What, miss?”

She smiled. “It sounds so good when you call me that.”

Before Ben could detect the danger, she was already straddling him on the couch, her thin gown ripping in the middle as her legs spread, revealing her black lace panties underneath. Ben immediately looked away and tried to keep his eyes on her face.

Her beautiful, perfect, angelic face–

“He was tired of me,” Rey said, opening Ben’s jacket to get her hands on the buttons of his shirt. “He was already seeing someone else when he told me. Why do people get tired of me, Ben? What did I do wrong?”

Ben was trying to focus on the sadness on her face even as she slowly undid button after button, but it was hard to focus on anything that wasn’t the warmness between her legs brushing against his clothed erection. He wasn’t even sure she was aware of what she was doing.

“I feel so alone. Can you help me?” She stopped, stunned. His chest was half bare in front of her right now, his toned pecs exposed. “...You’re quite the hottie, Ben.” She laughed and placed her palms against his chest.

Ben was keeping his hands flat on the couch at his sides, because he knew that if he started touching he would never stop and he wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do.

“Miss, I don’t think we should–”

Rey pressed her index against his lips. “You don’t need to think.” She was suddenly deadly serious and she cupped his face with both hands. “I don’t want to think about anything tonight. Just make me feel good.”

She crashed their lips and Ben’s hands instinctively went to grab her hips as their mouths melted into each other. She was inebriating and kissing her felt exactly like he always imagined it to be. He didn’t dare to push her against him or to touch her anywhere else, but he did part his lips to let Rey slide her tongue in his mouth.

That’s when he tasted it. The alcohol. He almost forgot she wasn’t clear headed enough for this.

He applied just enough pressure on her waist to push her back. “Rey, wait.”

Maybe it was the strong grip around her hips, maybe it was the way he had called her by her name, but Rey did stop to stare into his eyes.

“W-What?”

She was teary-eyed for more than one reason and Ben knew he had to choose his next words very carefully because she had been hurt enough for that day. Maybe it was his chance to come clean about the feelings he’d been harboring for years.

He placed a hand behind her neck and caressed her nape with his fingers. “I’m probably saying this because I know you won’t remember tomorrow, like a coward, but… you’re beautiful. I always thought you were. And I don’t mean just on the outside, because everyone can see that you’re gorgeous… You’re beautiful in every way. And if anyone dares to say the contrary, you can send me to them and I’ll fucking punch them. Anyone who doesn’t see who you are, it’s someone who doesn’t deserve you.” He took a deep breath. “But Rey… this isn’t it. You’re not in your right mind to make this kind of decision and you probably don’t even want to do this with me.”

His heart ached as he said the last words, but he had to face the truth. Rey had never noticed him, so it was only the alcohol speaking.

Rey somehow managed to look both flattered and outraged by his words. “That’s not true, I–” she stopped, as if she forgot the words as she spoke them. Her eyelids felt very heavy all of a sudden.

Ben smiled, feeling he had made the right choice. She looked on the verge of collapsing.

“Excuse me, miss,” he said as he grabbed the plaid from the couch to wrap it around her before scooping her up in his arms, one hand under her knees and the other behind her back. “I’m taking you to bed, if that’s okay with you.”

Rey threw her arms around his neck and smirked. “To do… what?”

“To sleep,” Ben replied with the same smirk.

Rey looked quite disappointed for a moment, but she seemed to have forgotten about it the next. Her house, just like the one of many celebrities, was a huge maze of corridors and open spaces, so by the time they reached her bedroom, Rey had fallen asleep in Ben’s arms, one of her hands tangled in his hair. 

Ben laid her down on the large mattress and didn’t remove the plaid in fear she would by now be half-naked under it. He covered her with another blanket and took just one moment for himself to stare at her peaceful face as she slept. He had never seen anything as beautiful and he knew she would never be his to hold. That short moment of that night was as far as he would ever get and he was fine with it. He just wanted her to be happy.

When he moved to walk away, Rey’s fingers found their way around his wrist.

“Don’t go,” she mumbled, eyes closed. Ben wished he could be the one she was actually referring to.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured, slowly and gently removing her hand from him. He looked around: there was a chair in the corner, it would do for the night.

He turned off the lights and sat straight on the chair, arms crossed. Rey’s arm was dangling outside the bed and her hand twitched like she was still looking for someone.

It made him smile.

  
  
  
  
  


*

  
  
  
  
  
  


When Rey woke up the next day, her hand instinctively looked for someone on the other side of the bed, but found it untouched. When she sat up and spotted Ben sleeping in the corner, the memories of the previous night came crashing like ocean waves.

_ She _ had kissed  _ him _ . 

Of  _ course _ she had kissed him.

Rey had been pining for Ben from the very first day he had walked into the conference room and was introduced as her new bodyguard. She had felt so blessed that day, but her enthusiasm soon died out when she realized Ben wouldn’t even look at her if it wasn’t to protect her or escort her. She was just a job for him.

And despite everything, he was still sleeping in the corner of her room, on a chair that was definitely too small for him, just because she had asked him not to leave her alone. 

Rey got up from the bed, blanket still wrapped around her body, and made small steps towards him. His expression was that of someone who would wake up with a painful backache. She caressed his face, her heart aching.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Ben’s eyes fluttered open and Rey quickly pulled back. It took him a moment to look around and realize where he was.

“Uh, miss.”

She wished he would stop calling her that. She wanted him to call her by her name.

_ “Rey, this isn’t it.” _

She shook her head.  _ What was that? _

“Good morning,” Ben said, seemingly happy to see that she was fine.

“Good morning,” Rey replied, sheepishly. “I’m sorry about last night.”

He seemed taken aback. “Do you… remember what happened?”

“Yes,” she sighed, and seeing the worried look on his face only confirmed her worst fears. “I can’t believe I attacked you like that. I completely understand if you want to quit after what I’ve done. I have no excuse, I feel so embarrassed.”

He seemed to relax a little, which didn’t match the reaction Rey thought he would have. He stood from the chair and buttoned up his shirt. Rey’s heart sank.  _ My god, what have I done to him. _

“It’s fine, miss. It was a very stressful day.”

_ I feel much more stressed seeing you walk away like this, _ Rey thought as he walked to the door. She was afraid he would not come back.

_ “Why do people get tired of me, Ben?” _

The memory hit her like a punch in the gut. She had been so… pitiful. So fucking pitiful. She couldn’t face him again, she had made a complete fool of herself, she wanted to punch herself– 

_ “And if anyone dares to say the contrary, you can send me to them and I’ll fucking punch them.” _

Rey froze. What was  _ that _ ? It sounded like Ben’s voice, but why–

“Your schedule for today is packed again. I’ll get you breakfast and wait in the car, if that’s okay with you, miss.”

_ “I’m taking you to bed, if that’s okay with you.” _

Rey pressed the heel of her palms against her temples. Pieces of conversations were coming back to her and it was definitely Ben’s voice.

She heard his steps down the corridor and panicked. In a daze, she ran after him, stumbling on the edge of the plaid several times in an attempt to catch up to him before he reached the door. She did so as he was just about to leave and tugged at his sleeve.

Ben looked at her, surprised.

Rey was just as shocked as he was. “I am beautiful in every way…?”

Ben turned pale so quickly, he didn’t even need to reply for Rey to know her memories were correct.

“Fuck.” He murmured under his breath. Then, his eyes grew even wider. “I’m sorry, miss. I didn’t mean–”

“Is it true?” Rey cut him off. She didn’t care about language, she was about to freak out and say much worse things than ‘fuck’. “What you told me last night… is it true?”

“You weren’t supposed to remember that.”

Rey’s eyes lost all of their light as the corners of her mouth bent downwards. “Why?”

Ben wasn’t looking at her. “Because you don’t love me.” He said, plain and simple. “Because I’m your bodyguard and that’s all I will ever be to you.”

Rey closed her eyes and tried hard to suppress the smile that was threatening to break open on her lips. They were both so incredibly  _ stupid _ . 

She realized she could have given Ben an answer in the form of words, but she decided it wouldn’t deliver the message clearly enough. Instead, she grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down into a kiss. One that they would both remember.

When they parted, the incredulity on Ben’s face was enough to make Rey smirk.

“Mister Solo, I’ll have my breakfast right here and right now,” she whispered against his lips, “if that’s okay with you.”

Rey wrapped her arms around his neck and the plaid dropped on the floor. 

This time, Ben didn’t pick it up.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
